What Will Never Be (Evy Story 14)
by quietandsneaky
Summary: Surprise! New Evy story! Sam has a dream about the way Evy's life could have turned out. Told mostly from Sam's POV.


**Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.**

 **A/N: So, when I posted my last story, I said that it was going to be a while before I wrote anything again. That** _ **was**_ **the plan. I got a few hundred pages into the book I'm reading (** _ **It**_ **by Stephen King-for anyone who may not know, it's almost 1200 pages long) and the idea for this story came along and bit me and wouldn't let go until I wrote it. I decided that, since I've seen the original** _ **It**_ **movie six times, and read the book eight times, it didn't matter if I finished the book before the new movie came out.**

 **While in the process of writing this one, I got two more solid ideas, so they will probably be up in the next couple of weeks. My story "Evy in Season 12" is also on semi-permanent hiatus. I just can't seem to figure out how to finish that one. As for this one, I'll start by saying this. This is my fourteenth Evy story. If you have come on this one and haven't read any of the others, keep in mind that this IS NOT one you want to read out of order. It is not necessary to read them in order to completely understand them, but it makes it easier. Go to my profile page and it's easy enough to figure out the right order. Anyway, as the summary says, Sam has a dream in this story about what Evy's life might have been like. Sam's dream is in italics. Though the dream covers many years in Evy's possible life, there are no transitions to tell how much time has passed. You have to read carefully to figure that out. I thought about adding the transitions, but decided against it. Dreams are chaotic, and it's usually hard to figure out things like that in them.**

 **Okay, that's it. Promise. Enjoy!**

There was nearly no sound at all throughout the bunker. Dean slept peacefully in his room, one foot sticking out from under the blanket and a pillow partially covering his head. Evy slept peacefully in hers, snoring so softly that to hear her you had to be close enough to feel her breath on your skin. Cass was staying with them; as he didn't require sleep, he was in the main room, reading through a book that Evy had recommended to him. He was thinking of questions to ask her when she woke up later. Mary was away, but she was sleeping peacefully as well. As far as most of the family was concerned, everything was okay.

But things were different for Sam Winchester. He was asleep in his room, like everyone else, but his was not a peaceful sleep. He wasn't having a nightmare, but his dream wasn't necessarily a good one either. Of all the years he had woken Evy up out of fitful sleeps, Sam, had he been awake, would have wanted someone to do that for him now. The dream world he was in now was as real to him as the one he would encounter once he woke up.

 _Sam knocked on the door of the small back room of the church. He could hear the commotion inside; he imagined that Jody, Claire, Charlie, and Alex were in there, doing their best to get Evy ready and themselves ready. Sam's heart was beating hard in his chest. He waited patiently at the door, but eventually Jody came up behind him._

" _Sam? You okay?"_

 _Startled, Sam jumped. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just came to check on Evy."_

 _Jody smiled. "I think the girls are almost done with her. Wait right here for a second."_

" _Okay."_

 _Jody went inside and Sam heard her tell everyone to "get it in gear". Sam heard Jody tell them that he was outside the door. Some light protests from the other ladies were quickly squashed by Jody, who came back to the door in a little under a minute._

" _Come on in, Sam." As Sam stepped inside, Jody turned to the other ladies in the room. "Come on, ladies. Let's give them a few minutes alone."_

 _Everyone left the room and Jody gave Sam a kind smile before leaving. She reminded him that they had fifteen minutes, and told him Evy was in the bathroom and would be out in a second. Sam nodded, and closed the door. As he turned back around, he saw Evy had come out of the bathroom and his breath caught in his throat. Evy was dressed in a simple, flowing white dress with a white shawl around her shoulders. Her hair was up in an elegant bun, and the way she was smiling immediately transported Sam back over twenty years and made Sam think of Evy's mother Missy. He swallowed hard and stared at her without saying anything.  
"Sammy?" she asked. "You okay?" _

" _My God." Sam said. "You're beautiful."_

" _Really?" Evy asked._

 _Sam was broken out of his reverie and smiled. "Yes." he said, walking over to give her a hug. "Really."_

 _Evy's emotions were running rampant and out of control as she hugged Sam. She was nervous, wondering if she was doing the right thing and making the right decision. She was scared about leaving Sam and Dean. She was excited to start her new life with Jack. She was sad because of all the people she wished could be there and weren't-Bobby, Jess, her father, and, the biggest surprise to her, her mother. Sam often told her she looked just like her mother, and while she believed him, she wished to see for sure._

" _Are you okay?" Sam asked._

 _Evy took a deep breath before answering. "I don't know."_

" _Are you nervous?" Sam asked. He could feel her heart beating, and it felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest._

" _A little." she answered honestly. "I was thinking more about who isn't here."  
"Like who?" Sam asked._

" _Bobby, Daddy, Jess." More quietly, she answered, "Mom."_

" _I know, Cricket." Sam said. "I wish they were here too."_

" _I'm scared, Sammy." she said suddenly._

 _So suddenly that Sam broke out of the hug and looked at her. "Scared? Scared of what?" Sam asked._

" _None of us has ever exactly had a normal life." Evy said. "What if I screw this up?"_

" _Do you want to do this?" Sam asked. "It's not too late to change your mind."_

 _Evy thought about what he was asking. Did she want to postpone the wedding? Part of her was sure that she did. She loved Jack, but as she'd told Sam, trying to settle down had never really worked out for anyone in the family._

" _Whatever you decide, I'm proud of you." Sam said. "I think it's really brave of you to even think about this. But no matter what, Dean and I are always here for you."_

" _Can I come in?"_

 _Sam and Evy had become so caught up in their conversation that they hadn't noticed Dean standing at the door. Evy smiled and waved him in. Dean came over and sat beside them._

" _You okay?" he asked, noticing that Evy seemed a little nervous._

" _Cold feet." Sam explained._

" _Lukewarm feet." Evy corrected._

" _Look, kiddo." Dean said, taking her hand. "I know I've given Jack a hard time. But he's a good guy. Not good enough for you, because that guy doesn't exist. But he loves you, and if you love him, then me and Sammy are behind you."_

" _That's right, Cricket." Sam said._

 _Evy squeezed Dean's hand and took Sam's. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Letting it out slowly, she said, "Let's go."_

 _Sam and Dean led her out towards the front room of the church where everyone was lining up and nearly ready to go. Sam, Dean, and Evy got to the back of the line, and Evy kept an arm around both of theirs. Sam had thought her idea to have them both give her away to be an unusual one, but he saw the reason behind it now. Evy needed the support of both him and Dean. Evy was nervously biting her bottom lip and staring straight ahead, and Sam's mind was flooding with a thousand different memories. Evy at one with birthday cake all over her face and John's. Evy at three, crying, with a skinned knee, elbow, and face, after falling off his shoulders during a piggyback ride. Evy at five, grinning with blood coming out of her mouth and two teeth missing from falling down the stairs. Evy at six, smiling down at him from her hospital bed after recovering from being unconscious for three days. Evy at eight, jumping into his arms on Christmas Eve night after not seeing him for months. Evy at nine, crying on Sam's shoulder after being ignored by John for the fourth time in a row. Evy at eleven, blushing from telling Sam that "my dad's right here". Evy at twenty, showing him her acceptance letter to Princeton. Evy at twenty-two, bringing Jack home to meet them. Evy last year, at twenty-four, announcing to Sam and Dean that she was getting married, and ending the night by standing on Sam's feet as they danced to "Listen to the Music", the song he had sung to her throughout her childhood. All too soon, the three of them were standing at the entrance to the church, and "Here Comes the Bride" was playing._

 _Sam watched the window continuously, waiting on Evy and Jack to come back home with the now two-month-old twins. The babies had been born a little less than three months premature, and had been in the hospital ever since being born. The hospital had tried to limit Sam and Dean's visitation with them, and Evy had railed against it, telling, and nearly screaming, the hospital administrator that they were "her children" and she would let "whoever damn well pleased" see them "whenever the hell they wanted to", and if anyone tried to stop the babies from getting visitors, she would personally "make sure they got dragged to hell by the king himself." The hospital staff had thought she was just hysterical with the stress of the twins' prematurity, but it had made Sam grin; they had no idea how literal her threat was. Cass had offered to heal the kids by jumpstarting their development, but Evy had declined. Despite all of Cass's assurance that the children were not Sensitives like her, Evy said she still didn't want to take chances that the healing could hurt them._

 _Jack finally stopped the car and helped Evy out, pulling open her car door and helping her to a standing position. Evy grumpily told Jack "I'm fine, get the kids." Sam laughed when he noticed that Jack had been travelling at "exactly twice the speed of a snail", as Dean had put it in the threatening text he'd sent to Jack earlier. Sam had mildly reprimanded Dean for this, but in truth he felt the same way. The babies were still so fragile that Sam was afraid anything could hurt them; it was better to take everything slow and steady. They were in no rush; Sam hadn't hunted in months, and Dean had agreed to wait until everything was running smoothly with the babies at home. Sam walked to the door and opened it up. Jack stepped inside first with one baby, Evy with the other. Sam greeted her with a kiss on the cheek._

" _Hi, mommy." he said with a grin._

" _Hey, Sammy." she said._

 _Jack suddenly said, "Honey, Sam and I have a surprise for you."_

 _Evy, startled, said, "Okay. Should I be scared?"_

" _Come on." Sam said. He took the baby carrier from Evy . "You'll love it, I promise."_

 _Sam and Jack took the babies out of their carriers, and Evy walked down the hall with Sam. Jack stayed behind them, very carefully balancing one twin in each arm. They led Evy down the hall to the last door on the left, which Evy knew right away was the unfinished nursery. Sam knocked on the door once and waited for a response._

" _I'm ready!"_

 _Evy instantly recognized Dean's voice. She'd wondered why he hadn't been out in the living room to meet her when she got home, but it looked like she was about to find out. Sam told her to close her eyes, and led her into the room._

" _Open up." he said, once she was inside.  
Evy opened her eyes and immediately gasped. What had been a week earlier, when she'd last been home, a half-painted room with two bare wood cribs was now a gorgeous nursery. The walls were painted a pastel blue color with light pink curtains. There was a pink throw rug on the floor and a white rocking chair in the corner. In the other corner was a changing table. But what caught Evy's eyes were the cribs. One was painted pink, the other blue. In the pink crib was a white throw pillow with Roberta Johnnie Kenly stitched into it. In the blue crib was an identical pillow with Samuel Dean Kenly stitched into it. Both babies had a blanket hanging off the side of their crib. Roberta's was pink with a yellow trim and had monkeys decorating it, Samuel's was green with a red trim and had frogs. There was a white dresser in one corner, and fully stocked toy box in the other. All the baby shower gifts Evy had gotten two weeks earlier were in place. The room had also been cleaned thoroughly, a pet peeve Evy had developed in the months she'd been pregnant. Sam placed Roberta in her crib and Jack placed Samuel in his._

" _What do you think, kiddo?" Dean asked, when she had still not said anything after nearly a full minute._

 _Evy said through her tears of joy, "It's beautiful." She looked at the babies in their cribs. "What do you think of your room, guys?" Happy gurgles came from both babies. "I think it's a hit."_

" _I'm glad you like it, Cricket." Sam said, grabbing her in a hug. When Evy yawned, Sam suggested, "Why don't you two go take a nap?"_

" _The kids just got home." Evy said. "I feel bad leaving them alone."_

" _Dean and I are right here." Sam said. "We'll stay until you wake up."_

 _Evy took one last look at the babies, who were drifting off to sleep themselves. She gave in and went to her own bedroom, and Sam turned around to stare at the babies. Samuel reminded him of Dean, while Roberta looked just as Evy had as a baby. Sam towered over Roberta's crib and stroked her cheek._

" _Welcome to the world, little Cricket." he whispered. He looked over to the other crib, where Dean was standing above little Samuel. "You too, little Sammy."_

 _Sam stood at the sink, up to his elbows in soapy water, and finally put the last dish into the dish drainer. He dried his hands and checked the clock. It was a little more than three hours before the twins' bedtime. Sam had given them an early dinner, with the idea of spending some quality time playing with them. He could hear the twins outside, jumping on the trampoline, giggling. Evy and Jack were on a weekend trip to celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary. Evy's marriage and children were a continual source of pride for Sam. It gave him hope that he and Dean could have a life of their own too, one that didn't have to be consumed by monsters and things that went bump in the night. Just as Sam was about to go outside and join the kids, a scream that made his hair stand up on end had him running outside as fast as he could. He was met at the door by a distraught Samuel, nicknamed Junior by his family._

" _What happened?" Sam asked immediately._

 _Junior had tears in his eyes. "It's Bobbie." he said, pointing to the middle of the yard, where a distraught Bobbie was sprawled on the ground next to the trampoline, crying. "She jumped too far and she fell off."_

 _Sam wanted to comfort Junior, who had tears falling, but he had to check on Bobbie first. He ran over to her, and he felt dread deep in his stomach when he realized she was trying to push herself up and couldn't._

" _Bobbie." he said, trying to keep his voice calm to avoid scaring her further. He helped her sit up and asked, "What happened, baby?"_

" _Uncle Sammy!" she sobbed, too upset to answer him._

" _Bobbie, listen to me, baby. I need to know what hurts." Sam said. He noticed then that she was holding her arm. "Is it your arm?"_

 _Bobbie nodded._

" _Does anything else hurt? Your legs? Your feet?" Sam asked._

" _No." Bobbie sobbed out._

" _Okay. I need to look at it, honey." Sam gently pulled the arm she was using to hold her hurt one away. He tried to pull her hurt arm away to examine it, but Bobbie screamed, and Sam's worst fear was confirmed._

" _Uncle Sammy?"_

 _Sam jumped a little, surprised. He hadn't realized that Junior had joined them, and was standing just beside Sam. He was crying nearly as much as Bobbie. Sam realized he was in over his head._

" _Junior, listen. I need to go inside and call uncle Dean. I need you to stay with Bobbie." he said, grabbing Junior's arm and turning him so he was facing Sam. An upset Junior was watching Bobbie and not paying his full attention to Sam. "Junior!" Sam said sharply._

" _She's hurt." Junior said sadly, and his voice was so full of worry and hurt that Sam's heart broke._

" _I know." he said, slightly softer. "I promise we're going to get her help. But I need you to stay here with her so I can call your uncle Dean. Okay?"_

 _Junior nodded solemnly, and knelt beside his sister, placing an arm carefully around her_

 _shoulder. Sam ran to the kitchen, and after a frantic call to Dean, came back outside. He had considered calling an ambulance, but Dean insisted on Sam waiting for him. He knelt down in front of Bobbie again. She was still crying, but was calmer with her brother sitting beside her comforting her. Sam had a brief flashback to Evy at the same age, crying because her stomach was hurting, as Sam held her in his lap and tried to assure her everything would be okay. Junior even said almost the same thing that Sam had said to Evy that night._

" _I'm here, Sissy."_

" _How you doing, kiddo?" Sam asked gently._

" _It hurts, uncle Sammy." she said, still clutching her arm._

" _I know, sweetheart." Sam said. "Listen. Uncle Dean'll be here in a few minutes. When he gets here, we're going to the hospital, okay?"_

" _You'll stay with me, right?" she asked._

" _I'll be right there, honey." Sam assured her. Sam suddenly had a thought. "Do you want me to call mommy?"  
Bobbie seemed to think about it for a moment, before shaking her head. _

_Sam, surprised, asked, "You don't?"_

" _No." Bobbie said. "I don't want to mess up their trip."_

 _Sam smiled. "That's very sweet of you, honey."_

 _Though Sam was sincere in saying that, he was relieved too. Evy and Jack were several hours away by car, and even if they had gotten in the car right then, there was no way they would be back before late that night. Sam decided to have Dean call Evy once they were at the hospital. Sam picked her up and carried her around to the front yard, where they waited on Dean to show up. Sam tried to tell Junior that he would be staying at the house with uncle Dean, but both kids had protested loudly and with tears, so Sam relented. Dean pulled up a few minutes later, and Sam didn't even allow him to step out of the car before piling in. A few hours later, long after they should have already been in bed, Sam and Dean were tucking in the exhausted twins._

" _Uncle Sammy?" Bobbie asked. "Did you call mommy and daddy?"_

" _Uncle Dean did, baby." Sam answered. "They'll be back before you go to bed tomorrow."_

" _Okay." Bobbie said, yawning._

" _I'm proud of you." Sam said after pulling her blanket closer to her. "You were very brave today."_

 _He meant that sincerely. She'd been terrified of the X-Ray machine, but listened calmly from the comfort of Sam's lap as the technician explained what he was going to do. Sam had laughed when she'd asked if she could have a copy of the X-Ray to take home. Though she had still had tears in her eyes, she sat in Sam's lap while the cast was being put on, and laughed at all the stupid first grade level jokes that Junior and Dean could come up with. She'd even told a few herself. The three of them had even had the nurses and doctors laughing._

 _Bobbie smiled. "Thanks, uncle Sammy." She yawned, quite loudly. "Thank you for staying with me."_

" _You're welcome, sweetheart." Sam leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Good night. I love you."_

" _Love you more." Bobbie said._

 _Sam took a quick glance and noticed that Junior was already fast asleep. Dean walked over to the bed._

" _Good night, baby girl." he said._

" _Night, uncle Deanie."_

 _Dean smiled; Bobbie was one of only two people in the world allowed to call him Deanie. Dean turned and left the room, and Sam reached over to turn on her nightlight. Bobbie grabbed his arm with her unbroken one. Her bright pink cast shone like a beacon in the dimly lit room._

" _Will you stay until I go to sleep?"_

 _Sam smiled. "Sure. Close your eyes, baby." A few minutes later, Sam left a peacefully sleeping Bobbie to go join Dean in the living room._

 _Sam ran into the hospital room, a knot forming in his stomach. Jack had called him less than an hour earlier, but Sam felt like there was concrete in his shoes. He couldn't get there fast enough. Dean was at Evy and Jack's house, with the very worried ten-year-old Bobbie and Junior. Sam ran to the admission desk to ask about Evy, but heard someone calling his name down the hall._

" _Sam!"_

 _Sam looked down the hall and saw a very distressed looking Jack walking towards him. Sam met him halfway and was struck by the look on Jack's face. He looked as if he'd been given the worst news anyone could imagine._

" _Jack. What happened? Is Evy okay?"_

 _Jack nodded. "Yeah. She's okay."  
Sam, alarmed at the way Jack was looking, grabbed his arm and gently led him to sit down in the nearest chair. "Jack, what happened?" Sam repeated._

" _She, um…" Jack ran a hand through his hair as he struggled to explain to Sam what happened. "Evy was getting worried because she wasn't feeling the baby move as much the last couple days. When he hadn't moved in a day and a half, we took the kids to the neighbors and we came here. That's when we called you and Dean."_

" _What are they gonna do?" Sam asked. "She was due in a couple weeks, so it wouldn't be as bad as it was with the twins, right?"_

 _A single tear slipped down Jack's cheek._

" _Jack?" Sam asked, scared more than he'd ever been before. The only time he'd seen Jack cry had been when it was uncertain whether the twins were going to make it home. "Please tell me. You're scaring me."_

" _Sam, the baby's dead."_

 _It seemed so cruel, so unfair, so incomprehensible to Sam that at first he was sure that he'd heard Jack wrong. Evy had been talking to him about the baby not two days earlier. Evy had gotten to name the twins, so she'd agreed to let Jack name this baby; but she didn't like the name he'd picked out. Jack started talking again, and Sam had to force himself to focus on what Jack was saying._

" _Evy was worried when she couldn't feel the baby kicking like normal. I tried to make her feel better by telling her the baby was probably asleep. But she didn't feel him for a whole day. That's when we called you and Dean."_

 _Though his own heart felt like it was cracking and bleeding, Sam felt horrible for Jack. "Jack, I'm so sorry." he whispered._

" _Can you, um…" Jack was having trouble focusing. "Evy wants me to call Dean and check on the kids. She's asking for you."_

" _Where is she?" Sam asked._

 _Jack pointed down the hall. "Room eight. Last one on the right."_

" _Okay." Sam said, looking to see which door he was pointing at. "Are you sure you'll be okay out here alone?"_

 _Jack laughed humorlessly. "I really don't know how to answer that right now. But Evy needs you more than I do."_

 _Sam nodded and gave Jack a hug. He was surprised how attached he was to Jack after all these years. He hadn't liked him initially, but now Sam realized that had just been big brother overprotectiveness for Evy. He let Jack go out of the hug, and watched as he pulled his cell phone out to call Dean and the kids. Sam took the walk down the hall towards Evy. He wished now that time would go slow, so that he wouldn't have to face what he was about to. He could soothe Evy's physical hurts, and make her feel better about almost anything. But this, this was too big. Evy had been eight and a half months along with this baby. Everything had progressed normally, and it looked like it was going to be a healthy birth. Sam briefly wondered why he, Dean, and Evy had to fight so hard just to have a semblance of a normal, happy life._

 _Those thoughts faded away when he reached the door to her hospital room. The lights were off in the room, and Sam saw Evy lying back on the bed, her head turned to face the window. Sam was surprised to see she was still pregnant; he'd been under the impression the baby had already come. Sam walked in and took a chair from the other side of the room, placing it next to her bed, where he took her hand. Evy didn't acknowledge him; she just continued to stare out the window. Even in the darkened room, Sam could tell she was crying. Silent tears continued to stream down her face every time she blinked. Sam reached up and wiped one away._

" _Talk to me." he said quietly. "Please."_

 _Evy turned to look at him, but the expression on her face was one Sam had never seen before, blank and uncomprehending. Sam had faced down the devil himself on many occasions, and the expression on Evy's face scared him more than that ever had. He thought that she wasn't going to talk, and he was prepared to sit on the bed with her and hold her if she'd let him. But instead she placed a hand on her stomach and said sadly,_

" _He's gone."_

" _I know." Sam said gently. "I know, Cricket. I'm so sorry."_

" _I have to…" Evy started to say, but she was getting choked up with every word. "I have to have him. I have to deliver him."_

" _What?" Sam asked. So not only had Evy lost her child, she had to deliver one she knew was going to be dead? "Cricket…"_

" _Can you…" Evy asked, struggling to get anything out. "Can you stay?"_

" _Of course I will." Sam said. "But what about Jack?"_

" _It's okay, Sam." Jack said from the doorway. "The doctor said you could be there for the delivery too."_

" _Of course I'll stay with you, Cricket." Sam said._

" _Honey?" Jack asked. "Dean's still on the phone. He wants to know what you want him to tell the twins."  
"Nothing." Evy answered automatically. "Tell him to bring the twins tomorrow night and we'll all tell them together."_

" _What about for tonight…" Jack started._

 _Evy erupted into a ball of rage. "DAMN IT JACK! FIGURE IT OUT!" She realized she'd just screamed at him and more tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry."_

 _Jack just shook his head. "It's okay.", he said, and turned back down the hall to talk to Dean._

" _No, it's not." Evy whispered._

 _Sam, who had barely heard what she said, got on the edge of the bed with her. "What, Cricket?"_

" _I said it's not okay." Evy answered._

" _No." Sam said. "No, it's not."_

" _I want my baby, Sammy."_

 _Evy started crying again, and she cried harder and more bitterly than Sam had ever heard. The raw grief and pain in her cries was hard for Sam to stomach. He climbed up beside her on the bed, and wrapped his arms around her to try and comfort her. He wanted to say something, do something, anything to make her feel better. But there was nothing he could do except hold her and let her cry. So he held her until she fell asleep a few minutes later._

" _SURPRISE!"_

 _Had Evy not had her arm in his, Sam was sure he would have collapsed from the scare. He laughed and looked around. Jody was there, along with several of their neighborhood friends. Claire and Alex were the first to hug him, to wish him a happy birthday. Jody followed, then Junior, and they ushered Sam over to the table where his birthday cake was waiting. The biggest surprise for Sam was when Bobbie came in. She had moved to California six years earlier after graduating medical school, and had only been able to visit a few times. Later that night, after everything had been cleaned up and the sun had long since gone down, Evy joined Sam at the table, cup of coffee in her hand._

" _Thank you, Cricket." He said. "That was great."  
"You're welcome." Evy answered. She looked down and towards the table, a distant, far off look on her face. "I needed the distraction." _

" _What do you…" Sam started to say, and then remembered._

 _Today would have been Evy and Jack's wedding anniversary. Sam could hardly believe that it was forty years ago he and Dean had walked Evy down the aisle. Jack had died almost ten years earlier after being hit by a drunk driver crossing the street. Dean had died a couple years later, after a short but intense battle with cancer. Both the twins had been out of the house for a while at that point, so Evy and Sam had eventually moved back in together. Sam reached across the table and patted her arm in sympathy. He started to say something when he noticed that Evy was smiling._

" _What are you smiling about?" he asked._

" _We made it, Sammy." she said._

" _What do you mean?"_

" _Sammy, you're seventy." she said. "Dean made it to sixty-nine. I'm sixty. My kids are in their early thirties."_

 _Sam smiled. "You're right, Cricket."_

" _We did it." Evy said again, as if the information was brand new to her._

 _Sam was about to say something else, but he suddenly felt lightheaded. He had been having heartburn all day, but hadn't said anything so Evy wouldn't worry. Since Jack and Dean's death, and the twins moving out of the house, she tended to play mother hen to him, ushering him to the doctor for the slightest things._

" _Sammy?" she asked. "Are you okay?"_

" _Yeah." Sam said. "Just got lightheaded all of a sudden."_

" _Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, worried._

" _I'm fine, Cricket." Sam said, smiling at her to try and get her to stop worrying. "I'm gonna go to bed."_

" _Alright." Evy said. "Good night, Sammy."_

" _Goodnight, Cricket." Sam said. "I love you." he said sincerely._

 _Evy smiled. "Love you too."_

 _Sam stood up to go to his room, but the second he was standing, he knew something was wrong. The lightheadedness got worse, and he swayed in place. He heard Evy scream his name and saw her run towards him. He heard her scream for Bobbie, but the next thing Sam knew, the world went black. His eyes continued to open and close. He heard Bobbie say "Mom, call 911. Now." Finally, Sam slipped into the black and didn't wake up again._

 _When he did wake up, Sam was in an unfamiliar room, and Evy was sitting next to him. Sam looked around and saw that they were in the local emergency room. There was someone on the bed, and Sam's first thought was that it was Junior. He started to ask Evy what had happened, until he realized something._

 _The body on the bed was his._

" _Cricket?" Sam asked. When Evy didn't speak, Sam's worst fear was confirmed. "I'm dead."_

" _That's right, buddy."_

 _Sam jumped and turned around. "Dean?"_

" _Hey, Sammy."_

 _Despite the weirdness of the situation he was in, Sam embraced Dean warmly. He'd missed him terribly, even with living with Evy. Dean let Sam go with a pat on the back, but kept a hand on his shoulder as he examined him closely._

" _You look good, old man."  
"You're one to talk." Sam said. Dean looked as he had when he died, but healthier. "How you been, Dean?" _

" _Fantastic, Sammy." Dean said honestly. "What about you?"_

 _Sam's happy mood was brought to a screeching halt. He looked back towards Evy, who was still sitting next to him, not moving. Bobbie and Junior were in the hallway, waiting on her to come out._

" _I have to leave her now, don't I?" Sam said._

 _Dean nodded sadly. "Yeah, Sammy. It's time."_

 _Sam sighed heavily, the realization that his life was over settling on him like a heavy jacket on a summer day. Even though she was sixty years old, as she'd pointed out at the kitchen table, Evy was still his baby. Bobbie and Junior were his grandchildren. Dean seemed to sense what Sam was thinking._

" _She'll be okay, Sammy. It's time."_

 _Sam smiled sadly. "I know she will be. I just need a minute."_

 _Dean nodded and Sam walked over to Evy. She was brushing his long hair out of his face, and still hadn't said anything. Sam tried to ignore the awkward feeling of looking down at his own body, and placed his arms around her neck. She made no sign that she felt him there, but Sam squeezed her anyway._

" _I'm here, Cricket. I love you. Please don't forget that."_

 _Finally, Evy, her voice cracking, said, "Good night, Sammy. I'll see you again one day. I love you."_

" _Mom?" Bobbie had come back in, and walked over to her mother and gently took her hand. "Mom, they need to take him now."_

" _No." Evy said, shaking her head. "No."_

" _Go with her, baby." Sam whispered in Evy's ear._

" _Mom?" Bobbie tried again. "Mom, they'll take care of him."_

 _Evy started shaking. "What are we gonna do without him, Bobbie?"_

" _I don't know, mom." Bobbie said, gently turning Evy around and grabbing her in a hug. "I don't know. But we'll figure it out, okay?" When Evy said nothing, Bobbie repeated herself. "Mom? I promise, we'll figure this out. Okay?"_

 _Evy nodded, and as much as it hurt his heart, Sam finally let Evy go. "Take care of her, Bobbie."_

 _Evy was being led out into the hallway by Bobbie, and Sam watched until she was out of sight. Sam turned to Dean, who waited patiently for him to follow. Sam said nothing, just walked with Dean into the unknown beyond._

Sam jerked awake, gasping for breath. He'd had plenty of nightmares before, but this one was different. Normally, by the time he woke up, his dreams were beginning to fade. This one stayed quite vivid. It took him a minute to realize that he was in the bunker. He checked the clock and was startled to see that only a few hours had passed, not almost forty years. He wasn't seventy years old, as he'd been in the dream, he was thirty-five. But why was his dream about what Evy's life might have been? Why hadn't it been about his own? Sam climbed out of bed, afraid to try and go back to sleep right then. He started to head towards the kitchen, then changed his mind and headed four doors down the hall to Evy's room.

Sam slowly opened the door, hoping not to wake Evy. She was sleeping on her left side, facing the door. Sam carefully perched himself on the edge of Evy's bed, pulling her blanket up a little. Sam took a long look at her, his heart filling with sorrow at the thought of the life he had just seen that she would never get to live. The children she'd never get to know. Though the life he'd experienced bits and pieces of had contained its share of heartache and sadness, just like the life they lived at the moment, Evy had been at peace. Happy. And so had Sam. Sam brushed Evy's hair back from the front of her face.

"I'm so sorry, Cricket."

Sam leaned over and tenderly kissed her cheek. But something stuck out to him. He took his hand and touched her forehead. Though she wasn't terribly warm, it did feel like she had a slight fever. Sam decided to let her keep sleeping. If she was sick, it would do her no good to wake her in the middle of the night. Hopefully letting her sleep would make whatever it was go away. Sam stood up and kissed her again.

"I love you, my angel."

Evy stirred a little and curled up more into her blanket. Sam smiled and headed to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and start researching a case. It was five in the morning, and when Evy didn't wake like normal, sometime between seven and quarter to eight, Sam fought the urge to go back to her room and wake her up. At nine fifteen, he heard her coming down the hall. She didn't say much, just sat next to him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Hey." He said. "You okay?"

"I don't feel so good, Sammy." She said.

"Come here, let me see." Sam turned around and put a hand to her forehead. He felt her cheek and immediately went into what Evy called "mama bear mode". "God, you're burning up."

"I figured." Evy said.

"Dean!" Sam called.

"Not so loud, please!" Evy said. "My head's killing me."  
"Sorry." Sam said as Dean made it to the kitchen.

"What's up?" Dean asked.

"She's sick." Sam told him. "Really sick. Feel her forehead."

When Dean did, he looked almost more concerned than Sam did. "What are you even doing out of bed right now?" he asked. "Come on."

"Guys, come on. Don't treat me like a baby, please!" Evy asked.

"Can't help it, Cricket." Sam said. He stood up and grabbed her arm to lead her back to her room. "You're our baby and we're gonna take care of you until you get better. And there's nothing you can do about it. Okay?"

"Alright." Evy answered, defeated.

When Sam had gotten her back in her room and back in bed, he tucked her back in again. He leaned over her and said,

"Dean's gonna be right here, okay? You go back to sleep."

"Where you going?" Evy asked.

"To town. Get you some NyQuil and some chicken soup. I won't be long, I promise." Sam said.

Evy smiled. "Okay, Sammy. Love you."

Sam kissed her forehead and brushed her hair back. He was trying to hide how worried he actually was. When he'd touched Evy's forehead, it had felt like she was on fire. But hopefully the medicine, soup, and rest would help. He didn't want to take her to the ER unless it became absolutely necessary. So he just smiled back at her and replied,

"I love you too, Cricket. Everything's gonna be okay."


End file.
